Not Another One!
by Coneflower Adams
Summary: [updated Mar. 29] Mary Sue parody! Angelica thinks she’s the only fangirl who gets sucked into Middle-earth...WRONG!!!
1. HEHEHE!

Not Another One!  
  
Writer Note: This is my first LOTR fic I'm posting in this section. I'm mainly a "Newsies" writer, but wanted to take my stab at LOTR. This fic is a Mary Sue parody inspired by all the gazillions of self insertions and girls getting sucked into Middle-earth. It's short, it's humorous, it's stupid.  
And, it's also influenced by my a Monkees fic my friends wrote a long time ago. I write all kinds of genre, so, watch for more serious fics from me soon :0) Enjoy!  
  
***  
  
Angelica skipped into her room, and kissed her many pictures from the Fellowship of the Rings. It was a daily routine. She was, of course, the BIGGEST Legolas! Oh yeah, she was going to marrying him. She skipped over to her computer, excited that she thought of yet another fanfic where she would insert herself as either an elf or girl who walks into a portal who has exceedingly amazing talents and beauty that would make Legolas fall in love with her at first sight. Writing horrid Mary-Sue fanfics was, yes, another routine of hers.   
  
Angelica had just sat down to start typing when her mail blinged. "Oooo...mail from another LOTR fan! Like cool!" she said, opening her mail. Just then, she was sucked into the computer!!!  
  
The sun shone bright in her eyes as Angelica woke up. "Hey, she's waking up!" she heard beside her. The voice was familiar. She opened her eyes to see two strange little guys standing over her.   
  
She blinked. The two people looked SO familiar! She blinked again then knew...they were HOBBITS! "OH MY JELLO!" she screeched at the top of her lungs.   
  
One hobbit she knew as Merry picked his ear. "I think I'm deaf now."  
  
Angelica jumped up, and started hopping like a teenybopper. "I'm in Middle-earth! I'm in Middle-earth!" she sang over and over again.   
  
"Uh...can you stop? You're starting to irritate us" Pippin said.   
  
"Can I join the fellowship???" Angelica asked, anxiously.   
  
"Yeah, not like we haven't done this before, follow us" Merry replied, but Angelica was too excited to hear what he said.  
  
"Hey, Strider! We found another one!!!" Pippin shouted as they entered the campsite.   
  
Aragorn looked up and groaned at the sight of -another- fangirl. "Well, bring her to the others." And, yet, Angelica was still TOO excited she didn't hear what he said. All that was going through her mind was getting Legolas to fall for her.  
  
She continued to follow the hobbits to a secluded area. There, to her astonishment, were over 10 dozen girls all giddy and overwhelmingly beautiful and all good at something. One girl spotted her and walked up.   
  
"I see we have a new recruit!" she giggled.   
  
"Yeah, found her in the same place as Delina yesterday!" Pippin exclaimed. "We're up to four a week now!"  
  
"Uh...what's going on??? Who are you???" Angelica screamed, her eyes wide.  
  
The silver blonde headed girl smiled, and took Angelica's hands. "I am Josephina, a fangirl just like you. I walked through a portal that lead me to Middle-earth. You are now apart of a special group of fangirls who are apart of the fellowship."  
  
"HOW CAN THAT BE?!" Angelica yelled. "I was suppose to be the only fangirl to join the fellowship and have Legolas fall for me!"  
  
"Don't worry. You'll get use to being here with all of us. We all do." Josephina smiled sickeningly. She drug Angelica off to the waiting group of 'special fangirls'. 


	2. Oh no

Angelica spied around the campfire in disgust. All the girls were singing nonsense songs about their favorite guy in the fellowship. They had no idea of the evil plot she was cooking in her mind to dispose of all of them. Oh yeah, they'd get what was coming to them for taking her place as the only one true fangirl who all of the fellowship would love!   
  
"Fangirls!" Josephina clapped her hands to get everyone's attention. "I think we should all introduce ourselves to the new girl, Angelica!" She dragged Angelica to the middle of their circle. The fangirls all seemed to of separate into different groups. She pointed to the largest group, some being 'elves' and others regular girls. "These are the Legolas fangirls: Christina, Collina, Geraldina, Rosalina, Thomasina, Nicolina, Katarina, Serafina, and Delina.  
  
She turned to the second largest group which some were in hobbit form and some not. "That's the hobbit girls: Jane, Mary, Leah, Sandra, Hattie, Chesley, Abby, Jean, Marie, Rose, Susan, Tammy, and Sherri."  
  
The third largest group was for Aragorn. "That is Katherine, Olivia, Amelia, Monica, Sharon, Desiree, and Bianca. Over here," Josephina pointed to four fangirls all dressed alike with giant shields beside them. "Boromir fangirls: Bean 1, Bean 2, Bean 3, and Bean 5." She hung her head. "Sadly, we lost Bean 4 to Wargs."  
  
"It wasn't too much a lose!" Bean 2 shouted, and was given murderous looks by the other three Beans.  
  
Angelica noticed a blonde girl in pigtails and overalls sitting by herself picking her nose. "Who's that?"  
  
"That's Pinkie, Gimli's only fangirl" Josephina pulled Angelica away. "I'd suggest staying away from her. She likes to fling boogers."  
  
Angelica nodded, noting that for later use. "So, where is Legolas? I haven't seen him yet! I need my fill!" she screamed, hopping up and down.  
  
"Oh, Legolas is in his tent resting."  
  
"He has his own tent?"  
  
"Of course! We made it for him! You think fangirls aren't going to give their favorite character the royal treatment?!"  
  
All the sudden, the tent opened and out walked four fangirls carrying Legolas on a cushioned platform. Another fangirl was feeding him lembas. But, there was something odd about him...he was fat from too much lembas!  
  
"I thought elves couldn't gain weight!" Angelica screeched in horror.   
  
Josephina shrugged. "Guess they can." She looked down to see Angelica rolling on the ground screaming "WHY???". After an hour it got really annoying, and Boromir and the Beans threaten to throw her over a cliff. They were a violent group. Josephina pulled her to her. "Snap out of it, Angelica! The shock should of worn off by now!"   
  
Angelica sputtered with sobs. She decided to look at Legolas again, thinking it won't be so bad the second time. WRONG! *Maybe this is all a nightmare. Maybe if I hold my breathe, it'll all go away...*   
  
"Angelica..." a distant voice swirled in her mind. She could vaguely make out figures standing above her.   
  
"Should I give her that procedure called mouth to mouth?" a voice she recognized as Gimli say. When she saw someone bending over her, she woke up very quickly.   
  
"NO! I'm okay!" Angelina said, backing away.   
  
"I don't know what to do with you, Angelica" Josephina said, putting an arm around her shoulder. "You're the first to ever act like this."  
  
"Josephina!" Merry called from the woods. "Another one just fell from mid-air into Frodo's lap!"  
  
Josephina clapped. "Duty calls!" 


	3. Over the cliff we go

Writer notes: Sorry it's taken so long to get a new part out!   
  
San Antonio Rose- Nope, none of the characters are based on anyone, but I made sure the names were the different styles for each member of the Fellowship...lol. Eek! I know CitizenNancy! Though I haven't be able to see what she's been up to lately ever since Monkees was taken off ff.net.   
  
****  
  
It had been two days since Angelica arrived. Already six more new fangirls had appeared and joined the "fellowship of the fangirls". Monica, an Aragorn fan, made up the name…how clever and ever original! *ahem*SarcasmFolks*ahem*   
  
Anyroad, Angelica had finally thought up a plan to get rid of all the other girls. They were walking through more forest, apparently getting no where soon. Angelica broke from her assigned spot in line, and fell beside Pinkie who was last in line.   
  
"Hi Pinkie" she greeted with a plastered smile.  
  
Pinkie snapped her head to look at Angelica. "You're talking to me?"   
  
"Uh, yeah, why?"  
  
"No one ever talks to me! Except for Gimli, but he doesn't count. I'm so happy!" Angelica tensed up when Pinkie hugged her. "What do you want to talk about? Isn't Gimli sexy?"  
  
Angelica nearly gagged, but held her ground. This plan HAD to work. "Sure he is" she lied. "But, that's not what I'm here to talk about."  
  
Pinkie cocked her head. "What is it?"  
  
"How would you like to be the only fangirl here besides me?"   
  
"Hmm…" Pinkie had to think. "Since I'm the only Gimli fangirl here, it doesn't really matter."  
  
Angelica sighed, and looked around. Her eye caught on the Beans surrounding Boromir with large knives and shields in their hands. That looked promising. "How about the Beans? Do you think they'd help me?"  
  
"Oh no! They're a violent bunch. They want to protect Boromir at all times from any Orc attacks. If you approach them, they may attack you just for the heck of it."  
  
"Oh well." Angelica was dejected. Pinkie wasn't being much help. She thought about where they were on the quest. It was hard to tell since it was just mountains and trees. Could they be going to Caradhas? She also wondered where the fangirls went when they 'died' in Middle-earth. She didn't ponder on that very long since she didn't really care. *Oh how do I wish for an answer to getting rid of the other fangirls!*  
  
Just then, a light shone up ahead. Angelica looked. It was a narrow cliff! Her wish had been answered. The cliff was perfect since it would be easy to get rid of those dratted fangirls and Angelica wouldn't have to get rid of the bodies…less evidence. She rubbed her hands together evilly and ran up to the Legolas fangirls. "Hey, let's spit over that cliff!"   
  
Thomasina looked at her oddly. "Isn't that kind of gross?"  
  
"No, it's a lotta fun! It's the new rage with all the cheerleaders!"  
  
"Okay!" all the Legolas fangirls chimed in. If all the cheerleaders were doing it, they had to keep up with the fad! The fangirls started spitting over the HIGH cliff that conveniently had sharp, jagged rocks at the bottom. Merry and Pippin and their fangirls joined in which made it even easier. More could go at one time.   
  
"Everyone, lean REALLY far over the cliff. Makes the experience even better!" Angelica explained. She smiled broadly when *OPPS* there went more than half of the fangirls over the cliff! She had to watch out that Merry and Pippin didn't lean over too far. They could come in handy later.   
  
"OH NO!" cried someone. Angelica frowned. Josephina didn't go over. "We've lost some of our fangirls!" The rest of the Fellowship looked up from whatever they were doing then went back to their business. It seemed they didn't really care. They'd be more by the end of the day. That was one sure thing about fangirls: they multiple like rabbits!!! just without the mating part, y'know. Okay, I'll shut up. 


End file.
